If not, well, thanks for reading to this point in the post anyway.
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If you are guilty of any of these, the response is up to you. All I can say is that you can’t measure my heart or my intention. I understand some women, especially the equally or more wounded women, are going to take offense to this post. Understanding these issues and addressing them – with a third party if necessary – build healthier, stronger and happier people and marriages. The reality is a man’s ego – self-confidence – sense of worth – is greatly tied to his wife. When you don’t find them as “valuable” as he does his ego is bruised. It could be work, a hobby or a trait, but a man feels part of his identity in the things he does. When you are always commenting on what other women have or what other men have accomplished – that you don’t have and he hasn’t provided – he carries the blame even if you’re not intending it to be his.ĭon’t appreciate his efforts – Want to injure a man? Refuse to appreciate the things he feels he does well. But when he’s trying, doing the best he can, yet he feels he isn’t measuring up – he’s crushed. Some attempt to live it out and some don’t. And he carries the pain.Ĭomplain about what you don’t have or get to do – He has a desire to fix things. He will think it’s his fault even if it’s not. He will accept the “hint” as his own responsibility. You can simply and subtly just be in a bad mood towards him – without releasing him from guilt or letting him know he’s done nothing wrong. Hold him responsible for your emotional well-being – Acting as if he’s the reason you feel bad today – and every other day you feel bad – puts undue pressure on him and he doesn’t know what to do with it. Chances are that’s not really true, but when you accuse him that he always does – sadly it only helps build him into a man that always will. Use the “you always” phrase excessively – Because – he “ always” does. In fact, it injures him with the opposite result. And again – never accomplishes what you think it will. When he fixes the bed – for example – and you follow behind him showing him the “correct way” immediately after he finishes, he is reminded he doesn’t measure up to your standards.Ĭonstantly badger him – If he doesn’t do what you want him to do and you remind him. Go behind him (and correct him) when he tries to do something at home – When you always show him how much better you can do things than he can do them, his ego is injured. If they do eventually address it it will be out of stored up resentment – maybe anger – and it won’t be pretty. Put him down in front of other people – Most men will not counter this type of humiliation in public – if ever. Here are 7 ways a wife injures her husband (without even knowing it): I consulted with my wife about it – 7 Ways a Husband Injures His Wife…Without Even Knowing It. As a man, I feel most prepared to address this side of the issue. Which led me to this post – addressing the ways wives injure their husbands – without even knowing it. Those issues impact us all – and our leadership. Mostly that’s by addressing leadership issues, but sometimes I address the issues dealing with relationships – families – marriage – children. Even though I have a degree in counseling, this is simply a blog where I want to help people. Thankfully, they’re in a great season to ask hard questions – learn valuable lessons – and strengthen the marriage. There’s a great chance she has questions about the relationship also. It didn’t take long before I realized, however, this marriage is heading for disaster if they don’t address their issues soon. I was proud of him for being humble enough to ask if this was normal in a marriage. And he’s withdrawn to the point that he was willing to admit his hurt – which is difficult for any man to do. He even recognizes his reaction as a defense mechanism. Over the course of the last few months he’s began to realize how many things his wife is saying and doing that are causing him to pull away from her. Plus, we often injure most those we love the most. Marriages are made of two very different, imperfect people. (Make sure you read the companion post to this one about how the husband injures the wife.)
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And he doesn’t even know he’s doing it to her. Sometimes those are the worst kind of hurts.Īnd she – most likely – doesn’t even know she’s doing it.